Let It Go: Fear As Motivation

An existential crisis provides almost no positive repercussions, but I can attest to one: you suddenly realize that fear is made up of a whole lot of NOTHING. I've written about fear before, but since it is an all-encompassing mind cancer that affects all facets of life, there is plenty left to be explored; art (thankfully) allows me to explore it periodically. 

On Friday, I got up on stage for the first time in a year and belted out my rendition of "Let It Go" from Frozen. Yes, that song haunts the halls of our ears and minds daily, but it also expertly displays the Disney machine and why it works. I was part of the Faculty Cabaret at work, and I wanted to choose something I knew the kids would love. More importantly, I wanted to choose something that would challenge me-my own rebuttal to Fear and its hold over me. 

Singing had been such a part of my identity when I was young, that when I stopped singing publicly, my confidence took a hit.  Choosing to sing the hardest song I had ever attempted, in front of an audience of coworkers and peers that had no concept of my ability, forced me to have the kind of courage "Let It Go" refers to and celebrates:

It's funny how some distance

Makes everything seem small

And the things that once controlled me

Can't get to me at all

It’s time to see what I can do

To test the limits and break through

No right, no wrong, no rules for me

I’m free

I hadn't been that nervous since my college audition.  Friday was a big step in the right direction; I even put the video of me singing up on YouTube, something I would not have done when Fear was my master. Motivating myself was something I couldn't figure out how to do, increasing my fear. Facing my fears is my motivation now, keeping me on my toes every day. All this last year has taught me is that facing my fears leads to amazing rewards and big steps for my career and sanity. Fear is only in the mind, it does not exist outside of it. Face yourself and you will find that all you are fearing is yourself, which cancels fear out and turns into NOTHING. 

SO, JUMP! Try. Do. Create. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGZXAfTMRJY

"Let It Go" at the Faculty Cabaret at Art House Astoria.

29X/Y or How a Play GETS ME

Millenials have gone through more technological and psychological changes than any other generation-at least I believe so being a Y, and consider my own evolution a case study. On Thursday, I was inundated with these changes during a production of 29X/Y, written AND directed by Marcus Yi, currently playing at the Paradise Factory on East 4th St (near East Village theater row, as I call it). The play starts off normally enough: projection on the wall, empty blackbox, and actors on the stage. However, once the action initiates, you realize this is performance art; an arrangement of vignettes and scenes (29 to be exact) aimed to move/strike/change the hearts of generations X and Y.

Since commentary and rhetoric are my favorite parts of artistic expression, Marcus Yi accomplished the move/strike/change in my heart. When one of the first references is how "our childhood went away" once Harry Potter was over-you've got my attention. A smattering of talented, diverse, and collaborative cast of 11 actors helped Yi portray the angst, confusion, spirit, betrayal, disillusion, need, evolution, desire, squalor, comedy, and reality of the X/Y generations. An entire scene of just 3 repeated words, ("Like, whatever, OMG") effectively explores ignorance in X/Y Americans and the loss of self.

From innovative uses of voice-overs, to audience participation-tackling themes such as race, sexual orientation, and big business-29X/Y captures the feeling of being "stuck" that so poisons our generations. Squished between the status quo and innovation, the X/Yers have a difficult task: how to incentivize real change (gay marriage, student loans, corporations) with a comfortable, apathetic mass (Americans) who are so used to their ways? A beautifully sung Ukele song explores how can they possibly satiate their(your) hunger when, "after you get what you want, you don't want it anymore"?

"Imaginary education" degrees aplenty, with a surmounting student and credit debt, X/Yers feel at a loss, and react accordingly. Marcus Yi and the character-ridden cast reacted through 29X/Y by yelling truths, pointing out obvious problems, and sharing the sense of confusion that plagues our generations, and now because of the Internet, the World. With music, extreme stereotypes, Craigslist ads, soliloquies, award shows, dance, mathematical parallels, and riots, you'll leave the theater thinking, "Need. Change. Now. Now. CHANGE. NOW. STRIKE."

29X/Y
Paradise Factory
64 East 4th Street New York, NY 10003

2 Performances left:
Saturday May 31, 11:00 am

Sunday June 1, 1:30 pm

http://planetconnections.org/29xy/

Audition Etiquette

Auditions mess with your brain, regardless of which side of the table you are on. Judging a person's entire ability and talent within a short period of time is unfair to everyone involved, BUT necessary evils remain and we must persevere!

I am currently holding auditions for the play I am directing this Summer, but as an actor, I know the baggage that auditions come with...and the nerves. The awkwardness and stress can make people behave curiously, on either side. For those behind the table, a certain monotony and attitude can develop, thus the sense we actors get of feeling like cattle, and our favorite degrading phrase: Cattle Call. On the other hand, those auditioning push boundaries and patience through unprofessional behavior and unpreparedness. 

Things to NOT do:

AUDITIONER

• Look down at your phone or notes for long periods of time; take a call
• Rustle papers after the audition has begun
• Talk to your peers-try to wait until the auditionee leaves the room
• Allow awkward silences-you are in charge and must lead the conversation

AUDITIONEE

• Arrive late or improperly dressed
• Forget lines or copies of your sides-both make you look unprepared
• Say you are SICK- just DON'T
• Talk over or more than those behind the table
• Lie-you will more than likely get caught right then and there 

Audition etiquette is essential and under-appreciated. If we all took the extra time and courtesy, auditions could be more than just a means to an end - it is the secret networking tool of many good auditionees and casting directors. Don't let manners get in the way of your paycheck.

You know that thing when you walk into a room,
and everyone looks just like you?