Inspiration (or how to learn from your sins)

I haven't written in a while, and I keep beating myself up over it. A lot of us do this; we know what we should do, but don't have the time/desire/energy to complete the task/chore/dream, and end up being THE detriment to our own confidence and success. Womp-womp. 

So, here I am: facing my fear of having nothing to say; of not writing it correctly; of it actually having an effect. Fear is almost never logical, and always disguised. I wear a suit of martyrdom for being too busy, overworked, and emotionally stressed out. Yes, reasons for inactivity will be forever present, but I won't be, and there is unmatchable merit in working so hard you can't even think about how scared you are. 

My motivation was reignited after Trevor Kluckman, who starred in my production of Seminar, invited me to attend his fundraiser last week for The Animus Theatre Company, a thriving company composed of passionate artists and inventive collaborators. Headed creatively by Artistic Director, Jonathan Judge-Russo, Animus treated its supporters to an all-day series of staged readings of Leslye Headland's Sin Cycle of plays at Circle in the Square. I was inspired to start writing again.

Among the sea of red chairs was a woman bursting with excitable energy, fervently chatting with her enthusiastic friends. I interjected to share my mutual love of witty farce 30 Rock, and I soon discovered that there was a reason for this magnetic energy; she was Leslye Headland. Even though I didn't know her work yet, Leslye embodied her identity with such a contagious and delightful force, that I was instantly infected, and eagerly awaited her words to hit my ears and heart. 

A simple row of chairs and music stands, I was fortunate to catch four of the six Sin Cycle staged readings craftily directed on Monday: Cinephilia (lust), Assistance (greed), Bachelorette (gluttony), and Surfer Girl (sloth); the last of which was expertly performed by Leslye Headland herself, proving her awe-inspiring prowess as a fully rounded artist. She was undeniably matched by the Animus members' professional work ethic, contagious energy, and driven talent.

It was immediately clear the actors would easily fill the space, Leslye's words needed no set, and that I was about to face sins I readily recognize, and shamefully hide. Each play was its own world, and separately revealed humanity's worst traits. However, I was delightfully surprised by how experiencing these sins in a truthful, raw way revealed them as gifts of wisdom. Leslye taught me you learn from what you are trying to escape (fear), and most of the time, what you are trying to escape is YOU!

Leslye is proof that what makes you different, makes you special, and that shame and regret aren't suffering's only residuals. Embracing the fear of what you know to be true is painful, but you must first be honest with yourself, to then be truthful to the world! In fact, through Leslye's honest work, and life-changing talkback, I realized I became an artist during my lowest point, when I felt most sinful. The sobering truth of our existence diminished my life-long capacity to dream, but after years of sinfully resting where dreams die, I have an urgency to dream again!

Sharing my understanding of humanity through my perfectly flawed lens of the world, just like Leslye so bravely does, is my new goal. This is only a layer of my aspirations; I am regaining the ability to dream and I am finally starting to make it happen. Become your own catalyst, face your true self, and GO OUTSIDE. 

Catalyst You

A few weeks ago, I wrote about how to put up your own work, inspired by my desire to direct again.  As soon as I found a play that moved me (and was right for the space), I submitted a play proposal resulting in wonderful news: I was granted free space to direct a play this Summer! Even better news-it's a NEW play co-written by my friends, which means an ever-evolving play that will be a complete labor of love. Stimulation like this can only have positive reverberations, the best of which is that I officially started writing my first play! 

Now that the formalities of 'how I got myself back on track' are over, I can get to the meat of why I'm writing this: my progress is made up of catalysts that came as a result of my desire to make things happen for myself because no one else was-regardless of my effort. A catalyst (stimulant, impulse, energy), incentivizes you to take bigger chances, leads you to meet the right people, gets the creative juices flowing, and grows the confidence necessary to succeed. 

YOU ARE YOUR OWN CATALYST; YOU HAVE TO BE. 

Some turn down projects because they feel they are too experienced; others unknowingly choose ventures that offer no career or connection advancement. Rejection and stagnation stifle creativity, motivation, and confidence. With so many variables, it can be difficult to stay busy, or worse: you(me) become reluctant to put your self and ideas out into the world. Subsequently, a state of temporary or long-term stasis follows, in which you hope, err, expect, try, wait, audition, go back, learn, grow, misstep, reconnect, meet, live, do. 

Regardless of your poison, the best catalyst to get out of the haze is YOU. You must create movement to expect/wait/hope for a reactionary response. You must do. 

• Open-Mic Nights/Salons and open performance forums
• Go back to school (higher learning or as an alum)
• Expand your training and knowledge; every new skill is a catalyst 
• Create: art, memories, music, stories, community, experiences, film, words, relationships, theater, moments
• Share ideas and created work with fellow peers & collaborators; you may share the same goals 
• Social Media: updates and buzz for your connections 

Think of your biggest fear and just throw catalysts around until you either no longer want it or are no longer afraid. 

No more fear.

An Artist's Mindful List

Preparation and tact make an unskilled or average artist seem better than they are-imagine what it can do for a gifted and trained artist! It's been a year since I've been on stage, and yes, I suffer from the same adrenaline-deficient worries: that I'll forget how to act, that my training will dissipate, and that I won't remember how to be a good collaborator. These inane apprehensions only matter when you stop practicing, and exercising your voice and body. Realistically, upon your return to a room of collaborators, your training will kick in, and everything else is just mindfulness and forethought. 

I've compiled two lists of tips on how to be a good collaborator and actor in productions, no matter their caliber. NEWSFLASH: These are also tips on how to be a good person to work with, regardless of your position; never underestimate how people would rather cast someone who is easy to work with instead of a talented Diva. 

An Artist's Mindful List 

• Always be prompt with all forms of communication to anyone involved-and read the emails. I know no one reads the emails, but come on.
• Greeting people daily is essential for morale and great for networking
• Learn names of as many people involved as you can
• Be courteous and aware of when work is being done and do not distract
• Respect the space and clean up after yourself
• BE. ON. TIME.

An Actor's Mindful List 

• This is obvious, but doesn't always happen: READ THE PLAY at least twice before the first rehearsal. Be as off-book as you can-your collaborators will thank you for it!
• Once in rehearsal
• Remember your lines and blocking
• Make your own choices-do not wait until rehearsal to choose them as you will waste time and it is not fair to the others in the room.  Even if it's not the "right" choice, it's something to work from
• Do NOT direct another actor-go through the director if you have any input
• Do not vary blocking or rehearsed action once in performance (serious judgement on this one)
• Treat the designers & crew as well as you treat the director. Remember they are the ones that make you look and sound good

Bottom line: Be KIND and thoughtful. Positivity goes a long way!

Maria in Twelfth Night-with Lulu Rossbacher

The Play's the Thing

My Summer Theater projects fell through, which has given me the courage and tenacity to put on a play on my own...again! At first, this can seem like quite the challenge, and you would be right! I wish I could tell you that it is easy, but as someone who is attempting it for a third time (1-1...so far), it is still just as daunting. However, with the help of friends, some granted space, and a great play, I'm going to make it happen! Whether you're an actor who wants to showcase, or a playwright trying out a new play, or even a theater-lover who just wants to produce a show, it is possible if you take the right steps and prepare accordingly. 

As I've mentioned before, the first step is DESIRE. Producing a play without a theater company backing you can prove to be difficult, and the thing that will keep you going is your fervent passion for this production to succeed. The second step, even before choosing the play, is starting a search for a group of people that will be there to help you along the way, in various capacities.  If you've invested in your theater karma, there should be a handful of people that will work with you for free, or at least for a share of the profits. In this case, I would choose talent over convenience, and attempt to find the best person to fit the role (on stage or off) in an effort to have the best production possible with a minimal budget. I am an amazing Stage Manager, but I would have been lost without Lauren Erwin (the SM for my first show), and her capacity to keep it all organized while I was having my directorial debut. Her karma bar is full in my book!

Then, you choose a play-a crucial choice in the success of your production! The play will decide how much you have to spend on sets, costumes, lights, props, and space. It will also weigh on how the actors and crew will deal with any strains on the production; the better the play, the more patience they will have. The last element is to find a space; everything else will follow. Free is the key word in this scenario, as a free or granted space can give you the flexibility to spend all (if any) funds on the production! This is when going back to school, applying for space grants, or using connections comes into play. As a last resort, renting space is always an option, though not recommended for a self-funded production; those with outside capital can afford the choice. 

I completed Step One last week-now on to Step Two. Who wants to help me out this Summer? ;) 

Exposed brick is actually really IN.

Theater Side Jobs: House Management

Although I retired from Stage Managing, I'm happy to say that I will always consider House Managing an active skill! House Managers are removed enough from specific productions taking place, that there is rarely any drama or misunderstanding of what the job entails or how it is done. Usually paid and operated by the performance space, Front of House positions come with a regulated job description, as well as a quite steady paycheck (depending on the season.) More importantly, the constancy and necessity of House Management makes it a durable [side] profession, as well as bearing the simple pre-requisites of basic organizational and people skills. 

House Managing duties come in various titles: House Manager, Box Office, Usher, and generally always as Front of House. Coming across a dependable paycheck as an artist is sporadic, resulting in the common practice of possessing numerous skills backstage and in production. It is always better to know more about the business you are in. Even if House Management is not your cup of tea, I challenge you to learn (or enhance) a new position in your field! If you're a performer, chances are they need ushers...

And, as always, a handy list of what it takes to be Front of House staff:

• Organization and sale of Online and Box Office ticket sales
• Seating Chart and arrangements
• Coordination with the Stage Manager
• Audience customer service; Coat Check, Concessions, etc.
• Distribution of playbills and programs
• Audience control and flow
• Setting up house spaces and maintaining the house environment

LAST THING

Best entry-level position to get an introduction into House Management is ushering. My theater of choice to start: The Delacorte Theater for Shakespeare in the Park! Do it even if it's JUST for the celebrity sightings; say hi to Meryl for me!
http://www.publictheater.org/en/About/Employment/

Stage Managing: What You’re Really Signing Up For

As a former (now happily retired) Stage Manager, I learned that doing this job is like a crash course in Theater-every aspect of a show goes through the Stage Manager. As an SM, you’ll either be charged with turning an idea into reality by setting it in motion, or take the blame for anything that goes wrong-the complete opposite sides of the theater spectrum.  It's not an easy or comfy job-I commend anyone who makes a life in the theater as a Stage Manager. Theater stories claim most people can't last over 10 years; I made it through 7.

A stage managing job is a good preamble to any other theater job, as well as a way to get into a theater company's radar or to connect with other artists.  WARNING: It is an utterly thankless job by most standards-with the nice consolation prize of making more money than the lead actors. I'm not writing this to discourage you (although if the following list scares you-RUN!), but rather to give you a real-life understanding of how much work it takes and just how much is under your domain. Nothing more important than this: if you are a good Stage Manager and it is your backup, be prepared to have your friends and colleagues see you as just that-no matter how good you are at acting, writing, dancing, directing, etc. Harsh realities become too frequent as a Stage Manager...so building a skin for that helps, too. 

The following list are some of the specific duties that you may encounter as a Stage Manager.  Master hat-wearer of the Theater, SM's are managers, producers, directors, babysitters, doctors, technicians, and most of all: problem solvers. 

• Scheduling rehearsals while working with talent and designer schedules
• All communication between Director and production
• Keeping time during rehearsal and making time for required breaks
• Organization and preservation of ALL documents related to the show
• Keeping the script up-to-date and distribution of all changes
• All communication between talent and production
• Writing down ALL of the blocking and stage directions
• Set-up and strike every day of rehearsal and show
• Working with Equity and Producers to accommodate talent
• Calling/Running the show from a booth or backstage

If you are capable of all of these things, please do the theater a favor-put on a headset and go stage manage a show! There are never enough quality Stage Managers, and as an actor, I always appreciate my SM's until they can't take it anymore!  Being on the other side has taught me how it feels, and I try my best to make my crew know they are appreciated and acknowledged. The crew is essential to the running of a show and the MORALE-something overlooked by most when asking why a show isn't working.

Despite my break-up with the headset, I thoroughly enjoyed my time as a Stage Manager. There's nothing quite like that power of knowing everything and being the go-to person with all of the solutions.  Stage Managing just wasn't my passion-but I hope it can be yours! 

Spring '07: Maurya Scanlon, Elise Toscano and I on our first NYU tech as crew members for
Angels in America: Millenium Approaches at the
Stella Adler Studio of Acting.